Trent your frustrations with D-Bus comes not from any mistakes D-Bus has made in its design choices but in the fact that you are using it ways no one has before. Obviously the API is accommodating since a couple of e-mails revealed there is already ways to get private connections, it is just that most applications are happy with the connection sharing method so that is where the docs and code point. As for getting the address of the system bus patches are welcome.
I think part of the problem is you are trying to force a client/server API into a shared library mold. Having both the core and client libs be drop in replacements might sound good but it also might prove limiting. Either way if that is how you want to use the library it is up to you. Avahi looks like a cool project and the D-Bus devs are open to making your life easier if we can. We can also always use a helping hand so if something is not quite right, again, patches are always welcome.
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